she loves you, yeah yeah

sherlock holmes is filming until february 7, or until tuesday/wednesday in new york. i want to go up there so much and have a chance at meeting robert. i have a half day on monday; if my dad could get out of work then maybe we could go then...but i don't know how long it takes to get to brooklyn, and how long they spend filming per day.
there's also no school on friday, could go then, but that wouldn't make any difference if they stop filming on wednesday. i'm crossing saturday out altogether because i doubt robert would still be there on the last day, it's probably just gonna be clean-up shots and stuff on saturday, since that's the seventh.

i wonder if i'll really be able to go. that would be so amazing.

i'm gonna have to be all over the imdb boards for the next few days to see if anyone says anything about them stopping filming or anything like that. oh boy.

"other rappers diss me, say my rhymes are sissy. why? why? why? be more constructive with your feedback--why?"

something that happened today just reinforced the fact that i'm blessed with amazing friends. today after school, since we had a half day, sam, stacey, kim, me, and kayla were going to go to friendly's for lunch and then to stacey's house to start filming our science fair project. sounds normal, but then kayla started going through sam's phone and found out that sam had hung out with kayla's ex-boyfriend once. ex-boyfriend. once. she flipped out, swore in the middle of the place, and left. it was kind of awkward for a few minutes, but then we all told sam that kayla's just a jerk and we tried to get past it. filming was so much fun, though, we were all dying the whole time. just thought i'd throw that in there to lighten the mood a tad.

it just makes me realize that i'm so lucky to have friends that wouldn't get mad at me over something as small as that, and would never write that they were "betrayed by their best friend" in their facebook statuses. i'm not sure, but i thought we were out of middle school.

"daggummit, blamtucky, i ain't reprogrammin' a vcr!"

this midterm thing is killing me.  my hardest day is on monday, with contemporary issues, anatomy, and english.  the two days before that?  exempt from lit through film, spanish, gym, and study.  no gym midterm.  now i feel like i don't have to study, but i know it'll screw me over by sunday night.  blah.

i want to try harder  to finish books i start.  i haven't finished one in a while, and i really miss the feeling of hitting that last page and being like bam! done.

also, i just caught up with the office, and realized once again why i love that show.  so good.

"so if you must falter, be wise."

i found this awesome cover of "disturbia" by boyce avenue. it's a lot more haunting, i guess is the right word, than rihanna's version, probably because i can understand what he's saying now. plus, it's all on acoustic guitar and the guy's voice is perfect for the song. i've been listening to it so much.

snow day today! which pushes midterms back another day, which means that we've got a half day on monday, too. i bought a scanner darkly on saturday, so i'll probably read that today. lost is on tonight, psyched for that.

courtney tore two ligaments in her basketball game on monday. she's on crutches, has to go to p.t. for six weeks, no driving, gym, or sports for a month. that really sucks, because she was going to make her softball video this year to send out to colleges and stuff. hopefully she can still do it, i know she wants that wicked bad. i think that's really not cool, because she doesn't even get to play much on the basketball team, even though the coach kept on telling her she would all year long. he was impressed with her softball skills, and she played basketball freshman year, but now she doesn't play. that kind of sucks. a lot.

i'm now 99% sure that i'm going to read "i hope they serve beer in hell."

"careful, man, there's a beverage here!"

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/pages/mostpopular.html

^^that is such an awesome website^^
i'm listening to this band called the descendents right now, basically because they have a shout-out to seinfeld in one of their songs. i've also been really into thom yorke lately, and the soundtrack for a scanner darkly.

i have no idea where my fanfic is going now. i love the chapter i posted last, but i don't know where to go from there. blah. i don't want to do my contemp homework, but i guess i should get it done. i have two episodes of the office to catch up on, and i kind of want to watch iron man tonight. hmm. i still have to check out the special features for pineapple express, too. reading for a while tonight wouldn't be too bad, either.

this is such a rambling blog. no real substance, i guess. no, not today.

"tuba girl? you're in love with tuba girl?"

i got into southern new hampshire university yesterday :) and they want to give me a $6,000 scholarship a year. that's pretty awesome, and i'm happy i got accepted somewhere, but i'm still praying for emerson. fingers crossed.

i bought the soundtrack for slumdog millionaire yesterday, ten bucks at newbury comics, can't go wrong, and it's great. i haven't even seen the movie yet, but the soundtrack makes me want to see it even more.

screen actors guild awards tonight! that's one of my favorite awards ceremonies, probably because they're voted on by other actors and actresses, which i find incredibly cool.

midterms this week, eh. that also means that our lit through film class is almost over, and that makes me sad. that's such an awesome class. i hope public speaking's not as scary as it sounds.

i have a huge urge to go to the flying rhino, but nobody wants to go with me.

i just looked at the vocab list for the a.p. english midterm. we have to know more than one definition for each word, and i wasn't looking forward to writing them all. while i was looking at the words, though, i saw that one of them is "unbepissed," and that made me laugh. so maybe it won't be so bad.

EDIT: john krasinski and amy poehler are geniuses. best nomination introduction ever. thank you.

"are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

i wrote the ending of my nano last night, and i feel pretty good about it. i really want to get that createspace offer soon so ms. baz can read it during my independent study. i've been jumping from scene to scene, writing ones that interest me, because basically, in the original story, i'm at a part that i don't really feel like writing. i seriously can't wait to print out all those pages and mark them up. dude, that's my story. i wrote that.

popped in monty python and the holy grail this morning and re-realized just how much i love that movie. watch it if you haven't, you won't be disappointed.

these two ladies that my dad is doing design work for came over--they're still here--and they went to the inauguration. one of them has this wicked cool shirt on, it's in the style of a rage against the machine album cover

but instead of that, it says HOPE. and it's just so cool. even if i wasn't an obama fan, i'd still be a fan of that shirt. she also gave me her metro pass, which has a picture of him on the back and says "celebrating the 44th inauguration: barack obama" or something like that. it's awesome.

rest in peace, j.b.

"you're never gonna get it!"

that guy: hey, how's it going?
courtney: pretty good, how about you?
that guy: eh, all right, just waiting for my shift to be over. i have no idea what time it is.
courtney: yeah, true.
that guy: you guys been to red robin before?
me: yup.
that guy: okay, cool, so where do you want to start? drinks?
courtney: well, i guess so. i'll have a fruit punch.
me: could i have a dr. pepper?
that guy: no problem.
*comes back with drinks*
us: thanks.
that guy: you're welcome, you guys ready to order?
courtney: well, i mean, i think i'll get the bacon cheeseburger, but without the tomatoes.
*that guy sits down next to me*: i like you better, i'm gonna sit next to you. she's very combative, isn't she?
me: haha, yeah. hey, can we call you "that guy?"
that guy: yeah, sure, it's on my nametag, you can call me whatever's on my nametag. i mean, you can call me anything else, too, i'll probably respond to anything.
courtney: what's your real name?
that guy: you have to guess.
courtney: why?
that guy: i dunno. it won't be that hard, though.
courtney: can you give us a hint?
that guy: nope. you have to guess.
me: you get three guesses.
that guy: see? there you go.
courtney: can you give us a hint?
that guy: why don't you guys order first, then i'll give you a hint.
*we order* courtney: alex?
that guy: no, but it's got four letters.
*we spend the next 25 minutes yelling out names to him. john, zack, dave, josh, jake, paul, mike, greg, sean. one of his co-workers walks by, taps our table, and tells us his name is sebastian. he's at the cash register, getting drinks, taking orders from other people, we're still yelling guesses at him and he responds to each one. "nope," "close," "you already said that one," "you're never gonna guess it," "i'm not lying, either, i swear." finally, after 25 minutes, we guess it, kyle.

and that was our red robin story for the evening.
this also adds on to my pretty snazzy friday. so now it has upgraded from snazzy to fantastic. i could write a story about today. i probably will.

"well, what are you gonna do, bleed on me?"

i really like this poster.

today was such a good day. anthony, ryan, and me took the anatomy test early because of the field trip and we only had to do half the test, psyched! the whole theater was rented out for us, and i don't think i could've made it through that movie again if mike hadn't been making comments in the background, which were absolutely hysterical. me and julie were dying. we went to papa gino's after that for lunch, so hey, that's cool. plus when we got back to school, we got to see the yearbook cover print, and it looks wicked awesome.

so all in all, a pretty snazzy friday.

"everybody cares, everybody understands."

i have to stop caring. i thought it was getting better, but i've spent the last twenty minutes thinking about something i can't change now. i can change it in the future; i should probably be focusing on that. it's so hard for me, though, and it's too hard to explain to people without having a breakdown. i tried to talk to my dad about it at white horse over the summer, and i ended up crying for a half hour outside on the deck. i can't deal with this, but i think i can fix it. i want to fix it. it's fixable, but i don't know if i can fix it without people's help. i don't want medication, it scares me...plus, i can't swallow pills. i've got to stop thinking about what people think of me, being paranoid. i have to do what i do, like what i like, be who i am, and hope for the best. i wish i could be loud like i am at home around kids at school. i think i'd be popular if i learned to speak up more. i don't know if i want to be popular, but i'd like to have opinions, and not be afraid to answer a question or something in class. i want to have a whole entire day where i don't second-guess or over-think a single thing. that's what i wish for. i'll wish for it every day, one day at a time, until i get into the habit. i don't know how long that will take. i have to make it work. i don't want to talk to mike or dave about it, even though they have similar issues. they were depressed, though, and i don't know if i am. i don't feel like i am. but maybe i am.
if people say something to me, and it's not delivered in the ideal way for me, then i begin to panic. was my tone off? did i sound like a bitch? i didn't mean for it to be offensive. what did they sound like when they answered? why didn't they answer; did they hear me? should i go up and apologize? no, it'll be even stupider if you talk to them and they have no idea what you're talking about. wait until they talk to you again.
i'm afraid people won't want to say hi to me if they see me, so i walk with my eyes down. like that song by the eels. i need people to start conversations for me. it's very rare that i'll start one myself. i wish i could be a never ending conversation starter. like a machine.
people say i overreact, but to me, this reaction is completely rational. it sucks. i hate it. i don't know what to do about it. i had a therapist, but she was more of just a person i talked to, she didn't give me any advice i didn't already know. i can talk to people any time, and it won't cost me fifteen bucks a visit, either. maybe if i had one from an actual clinic or something...i mean, this lady, she was really nice, but she just seemed more like a listener than a helper. the suggestions she gave me, i had already learned during donna's a.p. history class. i'm intimidated easily, and it doesn't help things that the top kids in my class are in all of my classes. english is the one class i feel comfortable in, but even then, i'm afraid to be wrong. i don't get it, my classmates are wrong all the time, but they don't care; why should i? i remember once, mr. adams was looking for an answer about a story and the way it was formatted (it was out of order), and it reminded me of an oral history. probably because i had just read rant by chuck palahniuk. i was thinking this, and considered raising my hand, but then convinced myself that it was a stupid idea, that there was no way that was what the author was getting at.

guess what the answer ended up being?

"let's go rescue the orphaned gears, dude!"

note: the title of today's blog is to be said in the style of woody harrelson from a scanner darkly (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2HP25bKztE)! :)

overall, pretty happy with the oscar noms this year. i really hope sean penn wins best actor for milk, he was fantastic, but he was the only nominee i saw. heard brad pitt was pretty awesome, though.

i wish the best supporting actor race wasn't so...predictable? i don't know. i mean, i want heath to win, but i think it'd be great if robert won, too. quite the scene-stealer, he is. philip seymour hoffman, and michael shannon i haven't seen, and i really didn't think josh brolin was as amazing as everyone thinks in milk. if anyone should have gotten it, i would've loved emile hirsch. so i guess it's between heath and rdj. i have to watch tropic thunder and the dark knight again.

it's also nice to see iron man get some props for sound editing and visual effects. they really were flawless, at least 99% of the time.

in bruges for best original screenplay is pretty interesting, i guess because i thought it was a pretty low-key movie. a really, really dark comedy, but still wicked clever, so it works.

things that really bother me about the noms:
1. young@heart isn't nominated for best documentary. i loved that movie. again, i haven't seen any of the actual nominees, but some credit for young@heart would have been nice.
2. no best makeup nomination for tropic thunder?! please.
3. two best song nominations for slumdog millionaire. i mean, it looks like a great movie, but two nominations? out of three? i dunno, i feel like bruce's song for the wrestler should've taken a spot, as well.

EDIT: if rdj does in fact win, i would love love love to see this happen:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000375/board/thread/128415493?d=128415493&p=1#128415493

"let's call him turnip head." "why?" "well, because his head looks like a turnip."

it bothers me so much when i see really people wearing bad-ass sneakers/shoes, but only because they more often than not look really ugly on my feet.

lost season premiere tonight! can't wait, yes.

also, i'm so incredibly tired, it's insane.

"i've considered radioactive spiders."

julie and i really couldn't get this line out of our systems all day. i should probably add that we were mocking kristen stewart's acting while doing so, so there it is. i almost had a laughing heart attack today during english--seriously, i was on the verge of tears. we were watching the movie version of a play we just finished, a doll's house, and mr. adams had us ad-lib dialogue as he fast forwarded through a few scenes. it was one of those you-had-to-be-there things, but it was absolutely hysterical.

my brother is sleeping on the couch across the room from me, and i'm kind of jealous. i can never take naps, it annoys me so much. it seems like i can't get comfortable until my normal bedtime, which sucks.

inauguration? heck, yes. i don't know if i'd want to be there today, though (my history teacher and one of my english teachers were there), but it was still pretty cool. if i were obama, though, i would've wanted aretha franklin to sing before my being sworn in, not joe biden's. let's hope the slight mess-up during the swearing-in isn't a sign of things to come, though, shall we?

i don't usually do this, but these pictures make me very happy, so here we go.


also, just because he's great, he's the reason i became interested in politics, and i haven't seen him in a while, it seems fitting to give him some props on inauguration day.


and stephen, too. can't forget about him.

"cause we're singing along to peter gabriel's 'sledgehammer' song..."

natick with kim was so much fun, i got lost in worcester trying to get to grafton, i found out that the oscar nominations are being announced on the one-year anniversary of heath ledger's death, i kicked ass at scattergories last night, i cleaned my room up and made it less cluttered (it's so much better now), emerson now has all my stuff for my application, the season premiere of lost is on wednesday and i can't wait, my newest fanfic has 10 reviews (!) and i really like writing it, i found a new song that i really like ("brat pack" by the rocket summer, see title), my aunt told me she thinks that rdj is cute too, i have three days of school this week, i have to write an essay for a scholarship.

barack obama is being inaugurated tomorrow. we're making history tomorrow. i know this is all over the place, but it's still like, wow. this is really happening. tomorrow.

"and i will hang my head, hang my head low."

met our yearbook deadline today :)

mlk weekenddd!

"crap, gemma."

"she said she doesn't want me to be hypnotized and then drive home. lol." -julie.

this quote made me laugh out loud. best part of my afternoon. i couldn't tell you why, but it just makes me smile.

EDIT: the hypnotist show was fantastic. the title of this post is a quote from one of the kids who was hypnotized tonight. it doesn't sound that funny written, but trust me, it was. especially if you know gemma. everyone was laughing so hard, and i dunno. hypnotism is cool. it was a cool show. and according to a random girl i don't know who dragged me up on stage to dance with her, i'm angelina jolie.

well, at least i'm dating brad pitt :D

"and if i had but one wish on which to stand, i wish the weapons all turned to sand..."

we're going on a field trip for lit though film! and where else would we go for that class but the movies?! only slight problem is the movie. jeff suggested we go see gran torino, that new movie with clint eastwood, but we're seeing twilight. exactly. i guess it's because the contemporary novel class is going, too, and they're reading the book, and ms. clemmer was like, "well, we're a film class, we should go, too!" plus, she loves our class, so that might be why, too. i'm not complaining, though; we're leaving at 9 and coming back with five minutes left in school. on a friday, no less. AND, we miss double spanish =O. it can't get any better.

state radio show feb. 21 @ lupo's ftw!

tucker max is doing a book signing in boston on the 26th. y'know, the "i hope they serve beer in hell" guy. i wanted to read his book a while ago, but then i decided not to get it because it sounded gross. the first sentence on the back cover is "my name is tucker max, and i'm an asshole." so many people are psyched about his book signing, though, that i'm wondering if i'm missing out on a good book. it's not at the library (barely anything is, it seems), so i'd have to buy it. hmm. decisions, decisions.

"we went beyond where we should have gone."

i was a big fan of today. no real reason why, it was just a good day all-around, with interesting classes and funny moments. here's to wednesday being just as good.

american idol tonight, what what?

"let's face it: this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."

the title for this post was going to either be that one above (courtesy of iron man) or "dag-gummit blamtucky, i ain't reprogrammin' a vcr!" from tropic thunder. golden globes tonight! i can't wait, but i'm kind of nervous about supporting actor. i mean, heath ledger was absolutely fantastic, but robert downey jr. was, too. i kinda wish robert was nominated in the best supporting actor for a comedy or musical category instead of supporting actor in general--then he might've had a chance. but hey, let's see how things go tonight. maybe there'll be some surprises in store. but if heath wins, i hope matilda and michelle accept the award for him, not chis nolan. no offense to him, i just think it'd be nicer if heath's family got to accept it instead.

i found this thread on the rdj board from www.imdb.com, and one poster makes a good point. robert was amazing, but if he won, there'd be so much negative feedback toward his win, so many people would think he didn't deserve it, even though he does. i wish they could both win. there was a tie at the critics choice awards; that'd be clutch for the golden globes.

heath won, chris nolan accepted it, and robert looks ridiculously good tonight. he'll have more chances; at least he's getting recognized now. he should've, hands down, gotten at least nominated for best actor for kiss kiss, bang bang. but hey, he's still got the soloist (should be out now =[), sherlock holmes, etc. hopefully he'll get some recognish, and maybe go home with something soon. cross your fingers.

also, james franco for best supporting actor in a comedy all the way.

critics choice awards!

all righty. critics choice awards are on as i write this, and it's gone as following so far, if anyone's interested:
best comedy: tropic thunder (yes!! i was hoping it was either tt or forgetting sarah marshall)
best supporting actor: heath ledger for the dark knight (r.i.p. heath, you were amazing)
best young actor or actress: dev patel for slumdog millionaire (i want to see this movie so much)
best documentary: man on wire (i was hoping young@heart would win, but hey, you can't have it all)
best cast ensemble: milk (woot! this beat out the dark knight)
best action movie: the dark knight (either this or iron man for me. granted, i hadn't seen any of the other movies, though)
best supporting actress: kate winslet for the reader (kate's all over the place, she was great in titanic, though)

there were a bunch more that i can't remember at the moment, but here's waiting for best picture. adios for now, gonna go do some studying for anatomy...fun.

EDIT: now i kind of think i would've wanted iron man to win best action movie, because the dark knight was nominated for best picture overall, and likely will be in the sag awards, golden globes, and the oscars, too. they were both pretty equal in the action category, i think, but the dark knight could be so many different genres: drama, action, superhero...and iron man's really only action and superhero. i dunno.

best actor: sean penn (i definitely think he deserved this, he was fantastic in milk)
best actress: tie (!) between meryl streep for doubt, and anne hathaway for rachel getting married. i was pretty happy that anne won, she seemed absolutely ecstatic, and her acceptance speech kind of reminded me of adrien brody's when he won the oscar for best actor for the pianist (he's great). you can tell that it meant so much to him, and she was so happy and honored (yeah), it was awesome. he was probably a little more articulate, but it meant so much to both of them, and that's pretty cool. plus, angelina jolie looked wicked pissed.
best picture: slumdog millionaire (dude! this movie's sweeping everything! and i heard that if it wins an oscar for best picture, then it'll be one of the first british films to do so in a looooong time)

"...creating a trifecta of joint-smoking power."

i want to meet him so much.

"is he your stick buddy? does he wanna come with us?"

SNOW DAY.
maybe today i'll actually get to write another chapter for my fanfic. or work on my nanowrimo story...i'm not sure when the deadline is for that cool free proof copy offer, but i still have to finish it and edit and everything. i found some stuff on boarding schools yesterday, and it just makes me glad that i don't go to one. i mean, i'm sure some of the kids are nice, but it just doesn't look like my thing. it'd be an awesome idea for a story, though, like that book prep by curtis sittenfeld. i started reading that a while ago, and it was actually really good. i had to bring it back to the library before i could finish it, though. maybe i'll do that today--i haven't been to the library in a long time. here's hoping the roads get better before they get worse.

"there's always money in the banana stand."

"no malaria, though."
"no. you need a consult. if you get malaria you're gonna be regretting your big rush."
"is it fatal? malaria?" i asked.
"always," said hand, junior scientist. "it's bad-ass."

-you shall know our velocity! by dave eggers

i wore my arrested development (the tv show, not the group) shirt to school today. it says "there's always money in the banana stand" and has some bananas in the corner, and it's possibly one of my favorite shirts ever. i had mr. swedberg for double study today and i asked him if i could go to the band room. before i did, though, he was looking at my shirt and i was like, "it's from arrested development," because no one ever knows what it's from; i know barely anyone who even watched the show. but he looks up and is like, "yeah, i know. chocolate covered bananas, right?" this seriously made my day. i was so surprised he watched it because of what i said earlier, and we talked about it for a few minutes (and about the seinfeld complete series set), and i dunno, that made me happy.

y'know what else made me happy? the fact that guidance sent my transcripts a while ago, and i got an email from emerson admission saying that there'll be no problem with them getting my stuff in the mail. this was seriously, such. a. good. day. plus, pineapple express is out on dvd today! :)

"how 'bout a magic trick?"

this bothers me.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000375/board/thread/112629542
he's amazing, and ten times more attractive than zac efron or other people. he's just got this honesty and charisma that i don't see much of in hollywood anymore. maybe i'm not looking hard enough, or maybe it's just not there. either way, this guy is fantastic, can never fail to make me laugh, and is just this huge inspiration to so many people, including me. he's great.
but that's just, like, my opinion, man.

also, when people (usually in the preteen/my age group) say that they'd rather be unique and random instead of normal and boring. i think you can be normal but still be unique at the same time. you don't need clothing that's purposely mismatched or outrageous, stuff/attitude that screams, "look at me! i'm unique! there's no one else like me!" well, of course there isn't, you're just trying to draw attention to yourself. these kids go around saying, "be crazy! be unique! be random! be yourself!" well, what if you're not crazy or random? are you, therefore, not yourself? there are so many people i know who literally have their own style but don't go around flaunting it. they wear what they like, what's comfortable to them, and that's it. wearing a jean skirt with rainbow knee-high socks, two different converses, a fedora, dyed pink and blue hair, and a t-shirt underneath a couple of spaghetti strap tank tops isn't unique to me--it's kind of obnoxious. i mean, sure, everyone goes through that type of phase, i did when i was younger. but then i realized that it's really about personality, so much more so than what you wear. i hope other kids get out of this phase, too, because it turns into an eyesore pretty quickly. i read this story on fictionpress.com that is absolutely perfect and it speaks the truth. it's called "the proverbial slap," and i'd definitely recommend a read. it's not long, but it packs a hell of a punch. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1293081/1/
"It's a blanket statement to say, 'That guy's really sharp and amicable and nice,' because there's a little bit of a--hole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." -Robert Downey Jr.

"doesn't that suck? i just hit you for no reason, i don't even know why i did it."

okay, so i sent out my application to emerson on december 22nd, and i sent it to the undergrad admission office address, but i was stupid and didn't put "office of undergraduate admissions" on the envelope. i was freaking out all vacation because i'm nervous that now they won't get it and i won't even be considered for admission :(. i called the admissions office today at lunch (which is an accomplishment in and of itself, i hate calling people on the phone, it's like a phobia) and the girl on the other line said that they'd probably get it, but it might take a day or two longer to process. i'm perfectly happy with this, as long as they get it and everything's good. i still don't know if guidance has sent out my transcripts yet, though...that'd be nice to know.

greg told me in the library today that he loved my computer wallpaper, which was of kiss kiss, bang bang. i can't tell you how happy this made me, i love finding out that people like the same things i do. greg and i have a ton of stuff in common, which is basically why we're friends, plus he's awesome, but i know next to no one who has even heard of kkbb, and to be able to talk to him about it was cool.

i went over julie's house on friday and we had so much fun! she got a director's chair for christmas with her name on the back, which was so cool. we made varsity yearbook shirts, which are bad-ass. definitely. we put a bunch of quotes/inside jokes on the back, and it makes me so happy. we're going to be making them for mr. adams and mr. lajoie soon too. i'm gonna miss yearbook so much when it's done :(. i ended up staying at her house until past midnight (i got there at 4) o.O

then on saturday, me and caitlin got together! i missed her so much, she's the best. we were originally going to go see twilight, but realized that we both really wanted to see milk so much more, and i'm glad we did. it was such a good movie, sean penn, emile hirsch, and james franco were fantastic. it was so well-done, and i was on the verge of tears by the end of it. we were gonna go to the flying rhino afterwards, but at 600 on a saturday night, there was no chance we'd get in, so we went to the boulevard instead. the boulevard's an awesome diner on shrewsbury street that's just...great. and then, to round off the night, we went to that's entertainment! to get comics and such. i got an iron man one and a pokemon yellow game for gameboy advance (:D rockin' it old school), and caitlin got one for the hulk and one for batman. i love that store, the people there are so nice. i miss caitlin already, though.

speaking of nice people, i saw something really cool yesterday at newbury comics. i bought ben folds' new cd "way to normal" and kings of leon's new cd "only by the night," which are both awesome, but anyway. there was an older guy there who couldn't really see too well, and one of the guys working was reading the names of the songs on different albums for the guy so he could decide if he wanted them. i dunno, but this made me really happy. it's like, hey, i'm gonna help you out because you need it, and i'm a nice person. i think that's what makes me always choose newbury over f.y.e., all day every day. word. also, absolutely clutch two-hour delay today because of ice, which is great because i didn't get to bed until midnight last night.

"If there is a God, he's laughing at us...and our football team."

i kind of feel like doing one of these, even though it's kinda late, just because i like reading other people's, and don't want to do my anatomy homework. sooooo, in 2008, i:
turned 18. became a yearbook editor. cried over an actor (heath ledger). voted in my first presidential election. watched my candidate of choice win that election. helped try to bring stephen colbert to my high school. met some amazing friends and people. went in my first mosh pit (gogol bordello). tried to follow in jack johnson's footsteps after seeing him in concert. met johnny cupcakes. met jacoby ellsbury. met david sedaris. applied to colleges. saw my first robert downey jr. movie (nah, it wasn't iron man. it was zodiac, then tropic thunder, chaplin, and kiss kiss bang bang. then iron man). he became my favorite actor. found i had a huge crush on james franco. worked at toys r us for five days (!!!). lost my voice. got another boyfriend. went through with my first break-up, but it ended up being mutual. went to prom. got published for the first time. discovered dave eggers and michael chabon. realized that the twilight series is addicting, but the writing sucks...royally. attempted to learn bass guitar. cried with one of my best friends. got bit by a dog. played rock band for the first time. saw my first horror movie (the blair witch project). saw one of the saw movies, and will never see another. discovered freaks and geeks. had alcohol for the first time (mimosas ftw!). won nanowrimo. got a bunch of autographs through the mail: andy serkis, dane cook, cameron dye, rainn wilson, robin williams. was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding. stayed in boston for a full day. was a football manager. survived an ice storm/state of emergency. stayed up all night. got back into my fanfiction mode. made new friends. got a therapist. tried to make my life better....

i think it worked.

"geeks bearing gifts."

this is just a post about yearbook. i don't know what it is about it, but it's seriously one of my favorite things i've done during my four years of high school. maybe it's because it's basically just me and julie doing everything. our advisers, mr. lajoie and mr. adams (jadams), are awesome, though. there have been a ton of memories during those meetings in room 3036, but i think by far my favorite was when we stayed until 430 and mr. adams brought in his little daughter annabelle. she's like a year and a half, and she's absolutely adorable! she walked around and put her hands on our knees and kept saying "hi!" and tried to type and use the mouse while we were trying to edit pages. then we looked down for a second and she was lying in the middle of the floor, making a snow angel. but i think one of the things that hit me hardest was seeing how happy she made jadams. i dunno, but the look in his eyes when he saw her, picked her up, talked to her, you could tell that she was the most important part of his life--along with his wife, i'm guessing. it was one of the sweetest things i've seen in a while, and even though it sounds incredibly cheesy, it made my heart happy, and it makes me want to have a baby with a guy that i love. i hope that happens.

i've been having a lot of thoughts about how my life would have been different if i had gone to a private high school. with all the teachers at ola saying that i'd get shot or turned into an addict at a public school, that i wouldn't get any attention from teachers, that they wouldn't remember my name, that the kids at public schools are jerks headed nowhere in life. i'm so glad we drove by ahs one day and my mom was like, "hey, why don't you go there?" it has seriously shaped me into the person i am now, ten times more so than ola. i've met amazing kids with awesome personalities, they're always there for you, and teachers who are young, funny, and like to compare interests with us kids. it's fantastic. my best teachers have all been at ahs, except for ms. carroll, but she's the exception to the rule. the kids, the teachers, the school, the experience. i love it. i know that sounds wicked nerdy to say, "oh my god i love school and stuff," but i dunno. i really do feel this way. i'm gonna miss a lot of the people i went to high school with.

that being said, ms. clemmer's lit through film class is almost over :( i love this class. it's small, only ten kids, and julie and i are the only girls, but we've become a little family, and i don't want it to end. so julie, anthony, jeff, derek, nick, doug, eric, d-court, keith, and ms. clemmer, it's been awesome, and i'm never gonna watch the godfather the same way again.

wow, i got wicked sentimental tonight, huh?

"if you douse me again, and i'm not on fire, i'm donating you to a city college."

in regards to my title, you can't beat good old tony stark :)
new blog for the new year, i think i'm going for here. but i think i'm going to start off this first entry by talking about a video i just saw. it's like twelve minutes long and stars robert downey jr., directed by stephen frears, so i guess it could be considered a short film. it was really thought-provoking, though; it managed to fit a lot into a short amount of time. it's about robert's character trying to find "confidence," and covers his journey of doing so. it's interesting stuff, so i figured i'd share it here. maybe someone will see it and be as impressed by it as i was :)
part 1
part 2

on another note, i have no voice. i lost it yesterday, and it really kind of sucks. especially because i want to hang out with caitlin so badly but i can't call her because i can't talk, and she hasn't been on facebook in an eternity. i'm going over julie's tomorrow, though, we're gonna make pasta, yearbook shirts :D, and watch ferris bueller's day off! so that'll be fun. the two of them are two of my best friends.

and i've also realized just how much i want to get into emerson. that, in a nutshell, is my absolute dream school. there's nothing bad about it--nice people, right in the middle of boston, an arts/writing/media dedication that's through the roof, oh my god, it's so perfect. it would mean so much to me if i got accepted there, fingers crossed that i will. julie already got accepted early action, and my friends molly and adam are already there. it would be SO AMAZING.